a Case Study

E is potty trained! I’d like to begin by thanking these lovely parents once again for bringing me into such a crazy time. I’m so happy to have been able to watch how much E grew over the weekend, absolutely crushing this milestone. The two of them had such patience and commitment– she’s lucky to have parents like those two as her support system. 

We covered so much.

On Thursday, E went from having little spurts of pee every 15 minutes to being able to stop mid-tantrum, shout “CACA” and run to the little potty by herself on Saturday, to weaving through a crowd at a bbq whilst holding her pee on Sunday. 

It was an amazing weekend. 

She had a strong initial reaction to pant-wearing, but it seems to lessen with time. 

We found that giving two options, and then giving a countdown to choose if she refuses was helpful. If she still refuses we choose for her, and begin the task for her as well. This works with her desire to be independent and in-charge, as she usually wants an active role as soon as someone starts to ‘help’.

 Racing the clock was a good tool as well. Another thing we found was that if she was stalling getting dressed by lying on the floor, we would all leave to “get ready” to leave, and remind her of the task she should do while we are away. 

We had to call special attention to her heel and how to hook her finger in the pant opening in order to get it around the backside of her foot and heel area. 

We also have been having to remind her to pull up the pants over her butt as well. With time, we can introduce that she can hold the front of the waist band with one hand, and the back of the waistband with another hand in order to pull up.

For now, an adult should also be around to help hold up her dress while she pulls her pants down until she develops a bit more dexterity. 

She loved using the bathroom at the public library. At the park, the flush was a bit loud, which she wasn’t keen on. You can warn her that it will be a loud noise, and if she doesn’t want it, you can flush once she leaves the immediate area. 

She’s had the consistent ability to communicate her needs, so we haven’t been prompting her to use the potty outside of transition times. We also neglect to prompt during the transition if she has peed within the past hour. We find that otherwise she puts up quite the fuss, because she probably doesn’t have to pee. We know she can go about 2.5 without the need to pee.

When we do prompt, we stick to statements, choices or challenges. 

A statement looks like:

“Come. We have to pee before we go to x.”

Choice:

“Would you like to go in 1 minute or 3 minutes?”

Challenge:

“I wonder if you can beat the timer.”

The most common prompt we used was just a simple reminder of where her potty is if she has to pee. 

We also used these prompts for other things we needed her to do throughout the weekend, such as getting dressed. 

A ton of warning before transitions and letting her know “ The plan” in simple language was helpful. E likes to feel in control of herself and wants to be an active participant, so cuing her into the plan is a way to fulfill this need.

This could look like “ First we put on pants, next we pee, then we wash hands and go to the car.” then simpler: “First pants, next pee, then car.”

 I suggested that a whiteboard with laminated picture magnets to put on the board to use as a visualization of the plan would also be helpful. 

E is strong willed. I think that clear expectations and structure make her feel safe, so she knows that she doesn’t have to be in charge.

 We can liken clear boundaries and expectations to the fence in your backyard. Though sometimes she wants to push against the fence, and it can seem as if she’s being kept from the outer world, she’s testing to see how strong the fence is and whether she can trust it. 

Once she establishes that the fence is the limit and that she’s safe, she doesn’t have to be on edge because she’s not expected to be in charge. She can then turn around and begin to play within the backyard. This is when deep play, focus, and imagination can happen.

As she gets older, the yard will grow, and eventually she’ll have the wisdom to live in the world outside the fence.